It has been an emotionally taxing morning for me.. the thoughts and feelings overwhelm me.. i woke up this morning to find myself alone at home, no mom. no grandmom, no Darren, nobody.. Really different from the past two mornings..

I hate days like these.. where words just wont sum up the feelings.. sucks huh.. oh well..

INSECURE is what i feel.. cant help it.. wish i could.. but i really cant..

Got to spend time with darren for the past two days.. magical.. wonderful.. amazing.. i love you baby..

takkaire ya'll

i'm out!

geese

good morning children.. its been a long long time since i've updated.. some things have changed some things have'nt.. i guess thats just the way it goes...

i've been doing meanigful thinking recently.. (at least i think its meaningful).. lots of thoughts about religon and life have been running through my head.. aimless, with no particular objective nor direction.. just random thoughts i sometimes ponder on when missgeese is left alone with nothing to do.. somehow.. "daydreaming", i find.. is addictive.. its amazing how that small little computer in your head processes all that infomation in such a short time. God's a genius.

As most of you know.. i am a born catholic and i have practised the religon since the day i was born. i was baptised in st. Josephs church, made my first communion at st. peter's and paul's and was finally confirmed in the church of the risen christ. and if you have read my past entries on easyjournal.. you would costantly find me in a battle to keep god close to me.. and i would feel  stressed, lost and upset when my spritual level was on a low. i looked thorough my entries and felt amazement.. i shared something so important with god. and yet, now, i could'nt care less.. doent it make you feel so sad?

its no big secret.. i think most of you would have seen the drastic change in me. i myself hardly know the person i see.. i dont blame you for the negative thoughts or the negative things you guys say.. ha.. but here's the irony.. you guys can say that i have become worse.. and gossip. but gossiping is not being christ-like. oh well.. but like i said i dont blame ya'll.. i myself feel my tummy sick with disgust when i think of myself. keep in mind, [while reading this that this is my workspace and its my thoughts] you might think this is an exaggeration..but hell no/.. its not.. i feel the pinch realisticlly.

When i speak to people who do not share the same reliogon.. people actually say that i'm not a bad person. in fact i'm wonderful (head grows big) but pops instanly when i think about where i stand as a catholic.. i'm such an awful catholic.. i'm not going to list my sins down here because that would be unthikable. but it still satnds. i'm not a good catholic.. for one, i hardly even pray.. the last time i prayed was when i thought i was going to die.. and when i realised that i was praying after so long.. it hit me.. i dont talk to god anymore. what could be sadder.

besides the relationship with god.. i also have many other thoughts about my religon. but as much as i want to express my feelings here, i feel that it would be wiser not to, for i fear that it might offend people.. trust me. when i build up more guts and stop putting others first.. that the first thing i'd do is to do my verbal vomit here..  because my brain and heart is exploding with thoughts and emotions that i want to share.. and the blog is always the best place to leave the baggage off my chest for it'll never get bored listening to me. but i'll keep it to myself.

Schools started and things are not very different.. i'm late for school almost everymorning.. run to attend assembly( a very familiar sight) and my belt got cut off by mag low because to her, the waist is just dierctly under the breast. not at the belly button but at the place where the support of your bra comes from.. how attractive. and after wearing the belt there.. instead of showing off your "waist" it makes you look like you're wearing a maternity dress.. i really dont know what the school wants. sigh.

i miss gen like mad.. its a real pity she aint in my class any more.. even though she makes me the butt of every joke.. we still share a friendship that i treassure.. i hope she realises that we're behind her all the way.. and we'll keep giving her the support she needs.. we love you gen..

i hope cyf enjoyed the term i served as a leader and i took on camp i/c.. heres to the core team of 2004.. cheers..

i'm gonna stop here.. thanks for your ears once again..

loving my girls and my extended family(cyf)

not forgetting Darren..

cheers,

geese

Currently Playing Shakespeare in Love By Layla Kaylif see related

Ooh.. i'm running a fever now.. how nice... no really.. how nice..

Sigh.. i feel terrible now.. not only physically but emotinally as well... the emotions fill me.. but the words wont come out..

Geese's Hope list

1) To help out in a childrens home

2) To build healthier and stronger relationships with family, God, friends and boyfriend.

3) To achive world peace (blinks eyes hopefully)

4) To study my brains out..

5) To stop drinking till after my exams

6) To go for weekday mass

Geese's wish list..

1) More skirts.. nice short ones

2) Nice earrings

3) Tommy Hillfigers TRUE STAR perfume

4) Ralph Laurens "RALPH" body lotion and shower gel

5) mini i pod

6) nice tops

7) i need blusher really

8) lip gloss lip sticks

9) nice thongs.. knickers..

10) a new phone??

11) more skirts

12) those games those games!!! ( girls.. darlings.. the stuff we saw in town today.. hell yea i need to spice life up and so do ya'll)

13) eye shadow

i cant seem to think of anymore.. fevers gettin to me.. i'll end here.. chao..

*missgeese coughs

Currently Playing Me And Mrs. Jones: The Best Of Billy Paul By Billy Paul see related

I'm at home now.. i'm not really in a thoughtful mood right now.. basically i'm just bored..Darren got caught up with something so he could'nt meet me.m not sleepy yet.. Wow.. time flies.. its already been a year since last christmas. I can still remember last christmas like it was yesterday. Love actually came out, apy and i sang the ever so wonderful White Christams duet.. ha.. now those are memories..

 Looking at my life then and it now, theres a vast difference. For one, i've met many interesting chracters, and when i think of each individual, i'm even more thankful to have found them. Not only that, the people i was close to last year, i hardly speak to them now, with exceptions like nad and all..

within the course of this year.. Veneta has become one of my dearest friends.. December last year.. i hardly spoke to her. i'm thankful for that.

Nad and Bryan have been together for a year now. Those two love birds are inseprable.

Ian and Ting are no longer together.

Carrie has lost her innocence.. i'm not saying its a good thing.. but it happens.. Hakim and her are happily in love.

Alex and I don't talk to each other.

Lester and i aint that close any longer.

Clubbing has become a normal saturday thing.

I'm not thinking of stepping up.

I found Ivan. he was  just a memory of my years at st. peters and pauls sunday class.. and i thought he was going to stay a memory.. but with the glorious help of friendster.. Mr. Tan found me.. and he's become a ever so dear friend of mine..

I fell in love with someone who was muslim and had a girlfriend. i was his "mistress". Thank the lord i got out of that..

I am in love with someone. I'm so glad i found him.. for whenever he's around. i'm walkin on sunshine.. something i have'nt been doing for a long time now. I'm so happy.. our love is like a drug for me.. its addictive and it dizzys me.. i love you darren.. =)

He suprised me with a bouquet of beautiful lilies and a small lil gift yesterday.. that sweet heart.. thanks for everything once again..

wow.. i'm a lucky girl.. and he's an even luckier guy.. haha...

talked to Cally just now.. and i'm glad i did.. he's got good ears.. he listens so so well.. he got married this year! wow.. its already been half a year.. time flies.. time flies..

i'm getting bored of blogging now..

ooh!!! and TAUFIK WON!!!!!! WAHAHA..

geese walks on sunshine!

check this song out.. its BEAUTIFUL.. download it..

Me and Mrs. Jones

Me and Mrs. Jones, we got a thing going on, 
We both know that it's wrong 
But it's much too strong to let it cool down now. 

We meet ev'ry day at the same cafe, 
Six-thirty I know she'll be there, 
Holding hands, making all kinds of plans 
While the jukebox plays our favorite song. 

Me and Mrs., Mrs. Jones, Mrs. Jones, Mrs. Jones,
Mrs. Jones got a thing going on, 
We both know that it's wrong, 
But it's much too strong to let it cool down now.

We gotta be extra careful that we don't build our hopes too high 
Cause she's got her own obligations and so do I, 
Me, me and Mrs., Mrs. Jones, Mrs. Jones, Mrs. Jones, 
Mrs. Jones got a thing going on, 
We both know that it's wrong, 
But it's much too strong to let it cool down now. 

Well, it's time for us to be leaving,
Iit hurts so much, it hurts so much inside, 
Now she'll go her way and I'll go mine, 
But tomorrow we'll meet the same place, the same time. 
Me and Mrs. Jones, Mrs. Jones, Mrs. Jones

Currently Playing Yeah By Usher see related

I havent been home much.. so thats why i havent blooged... i'm so sorry for not entertaining you guys.. *does a small polite bow* ooh!!!!! my head hurts soo much.. i've been having this annoying headache for a long time.. its not going away.. it not... *geese screams a squeaky scream*

life's been pretty alright.. still the same.. nothing much's changed.. i'm still blissfuly in love.. and mind you.. with the same person.. haha..

Its my grand mummys birthday today!!!

*happy birthday to you .. happy birthday to you.. happy birthday to nana.. happy birthday to you.. 

oh yes.. please vote for taufik.. please.. its not that i'm a mad taufik fan (trust me i'm not.. i have a life) but if sly wins. i have no clue as to what'll happen next.. and dont you guys think taufiks much better looking?? haha.. so lets get together and fight the ah lians.. no offence to all you sly fans out there.. but.. i'd rather another usher than another one of those cheena singers..and its not like as if sly looks like aaron kwok...if he did.. i'll be his number 1 fan.. but oops.. he dosent.. haha..  and oooh usher is HOT.. now thats a man i want to marry.. ahh...

i have a feeling lots of pple are gonna kill me.. really..

haha VOTE TAUFIK..

oh yes and Lester gets a big fat hug from geese.. =)

ok... imma stop here..

geese out!

loves my knight in his not so shiny amour..